@Yael

[weaseled]

@yael

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[fluorite]

It's not like I don't like it, but this is sudden.

You'd never be able to call me that seriously and you know it.

[ Something about it embarrasses him too, though he'll never ever ever admit it. ]

[weaseled]

Would it make you happy if I did? I'd swallow my pride to make you smile.

[Can he successfully maneuver his way out of Yuui's bad mood...?]

[fluorite]

Babe suits you more than kitten, so as long as you pick something that suits you, I won't mind it.

[ This is such a non-answer. ]

[weaseled]

You know I'm talking about pet names for you. I'll pass on the mushy crap.

What crawled up your ass today?

[fluorite]

If you're going to use one, use one that sounds like it would come from you.

[ He just pretends he doesn't see that question— ]

[weaseled]

[Several minutes later (he's using his brain)...]

Yuui suits you best. A cute name for a cute dork.

Do I need to come find you?

[fluorite]

Embarrassing.

[ And being found is even worse. Let him mope in this random Lost Ground, thanks!! ]

No. I don't know if you could even find me anyway, since you're so busy looking at everyone else's asses.

[weaseled]

[So that's it. He should've known.]

Old man Hector asked me what his best assets are. I called him one giant ass. I don't know how he managed to spin that into a compliment, but it wasn't one.

[fluorite]

I bet he's caught you staring before.

[ Fai has eyes, he knows Hector has a huge ass. ]

[weaseled]

Doubt it.

Do you know how many times I've stared at yours?

[fluorite]

There's nothing to stare at.

[ He knows he's a twig!!!! ]

[weaseled]

Really? I beg to differ.

[fluorite]

A flat surface, then.

[weaseled]

As I see it, there's two ways to look at it:

1. I disagree with you. Stop selling yourself short.
2. Your ass is flat. I love it as much as the rest of you.

Both answers are right. Anything else is an automatic fail.

[fluorite]

An automatic fail? How harsh of you.

[weaseled]

Chin up, kitten. You failed this time, but we can study together. You'll ace it in no time.

Your ass could curve inwards and you'd still be my favorite person.

[fluorite]

[ Ah.... he's feeling a little sentimental. Time to deflect it. ]

Should I try working out in a way to get it to curve inwards? I'll do it just for you.

[weaseled]

[By all means, deflect! Wars are fought battle by battle and Yael is in this for the long haul.]

Nah. I'd be mad if you changed your body to suit my tastes.

That's another thing I like: the real you. The stubborn, contradictory, obnoxious, grudge-holding, childish Yuui. Don't act like you don't know that.

[Yael make quick work of cutting through "Fai" and Yuui can't deny it. The man Yael fell in love was the boy who hid behind his brother's shadow.]

[fluorite]

[ God, that's so many negative traits. Seeing them listed out like that doesn't make him feel bad, oddly enough. Weird how it works that way.

It just... makes him laugh instead. ]

You have terrible taste.

[weaseled]

Really? Since when is having a preference for skinny blond bombshells an unpopular take?

I have the perfect pet name for you. String bean.

[fluorite]

Take a look at those traits you listed and try again.

String bean? Then how about I call you beef jerky?

[weaseled]

You think I'm all tough and leathery? At least call me summer sausage.

I miss you, Bean.

[Too bad Yuui can't hear Yael snickering like a 4th grader. Unlike Yuui, he's curled up in their shared bed.]

[fluorite]

My cute little sausage?

[ At least he can picture it perfectly. In fact... ]

I bet you've got that smug little look on your face. The kind that's all proud of your immature jokes.

[weaseled]

LOL. I don't hate it. Pork and beans go together, don't they?

I'd be smiling a lot wider if my little bean didn't go wandering off on his own. What was all that about "I want you as close to me as possible"?

[fluorite]

You're such a dork.

Well, I wanted you to fuck me. I think that worked.

And if you want me close, all you have to do is say so.