@Hector

[secondthoughts]

@Hector

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Message(s) Received;

@ Punisher - "Saw your post.I will drop by, ..."
@ Faunus - "yaoi dungeon. quest thing. you..."
@ Mr_Misteaks - "Mine was Lilith. She would hav..."
@ Anonymous - "Congratulations. You have unlo..."
@ Yael - "Δ Hidden Forbidden Bulwark. Me..."
@ KaraBear - "Hi Hector!I have a question fo..."
@ Mr_Misteaks - "Do you watch much TV?"
@ hana - "(555)123-4567 -Hana"
@ KaraBear - "Hey. Are you around right now?..."
@ zelkova - "Hello, Hector! :-)I'd like you..."
@ Mr_Misteaks - "HectorI fucked upSomeone's rea..."
@ mithrun1 - "How are you feeling?"
@ FlameMane - "hector i need a healer in lumi..."
@ oriade - "how do you feel about zelkova ..."
@ bigkitty - "He's alive."
@ Vogel - "Hi Hector,Do you happen to hav..."
@ Faunus - "Hey, Hector.I was wondering if..."
@ Owen - "i'm sorry.i was just surprised..."

Comments

sometime after the forum post

[tablescraps]

How are you feeling?

[secondthoughts]

[ Hector's response comes much later, presumably after he's calmed down. ]

I'm okay. Thanks for reaching out.

Sorry for all that, by the way. I was out of line.

[tablescraps]

I won't say it's fine, because Barrett's been through a lot, but it's better that you apologized to him. I'm fine, though. I don't care how I'm spoken to.

( which he thinks is true but lol is it )

Were you close to Yael?

[secondthoughts]

I know. I plan on doing that.

[ His own hurt is just a little too fresh for that.

Speaking of, ]

I was.

[tablescraps]

Why do you blame yourself?

[secondthoughts]

Because he chose death because of me.

[tablescraps]

( ?????????

A beat. )

What were the two of you?

[secondthoughts]

Friends, I guess.

I still hated his guts.

[ Because claiming hatred is much easier than— ]

cw: reference to suicide

[tablescraps]

He killed himself over a friend?

( Because that's how it sounds, based on what Hector described. It's hard to believe. He wasn't close to Yael, but he seemed the type to persist miserably for as long as his body would drag him. )

I don't think you hate him.

cw: reference to suicide

[secondthoughts]

[ Suicide? That's not what it was, was it? He marched into battle with a death wish. It was a soldier's death, one Hector himself might have chosen if his beloved had died at the hands of another and not himself.

Hah. They really are similar. ]

Hah. What makes you think that? Not a day went by that he didn't get under my skin and make me want to strangle him. He was an insufferable bastard.

[ And even through text, every word drips with affection. ]

[tablescraps]

I've never seen someone lace together so many insults for someone they seem to like.

If you didn't like him, you wouldn't be thinking about him, still.

[secondthoughts]

No, I guess not.

[ It was Yael that said he was easy to read. The irony. ]

I guess I just can't find a better word for it than "hate."

[ Because the other option is off the table. ]

[tablescraps]

( ...

He's going to return to that real quick. First: )

How did he feel about you?

[secondthoughts]

[ He knows. He knows. He knows.

And it hurts. ]

He

[ He lets that sit there for a long time, not sure how to word it. ]

cared about me more than he should have.

[tablescraps]

( Hector won't know it, but this response irritates Mithrun. )

Requited love, then. You just weren't together.

[secondthoughts]

Lol

[ Because he does, indeed, laugh out loud. He hates seeing it spelled out like that. ]

Give me a break

[tablescraps]

Is it easier to tell yourself you hate him than think otherwise?

[secondthoughts]

What's it to you? Why do you care?

[tablescraps]

I don't understand love well. But I want to.

[secondthoughts]

[ Hector doesn't know if this makes it any better.

That anyone would so openly call the feelings that he and Yael shared love makes him itch. They spent so long ignoring them, and it's surprising how quickly things fell apart when that truth virus weaseled (ha) it out of him.

He can't think of a worse example. ]

So you're asking ME about YAEL?

You're better off looking elsewhere.

[tablescraps]

You're not completely wrong. It's unrequited love I want to understand better, specifically. So I can't really find a use case for yours.

[secondthoughts]

[ Lol... ]

Okay. Good luck.

[secondthoughts]

[ —but wait a second. That would mean acknowledging that it WAS mutual and HELL NO. ]

Why do you even think this is LOVE, anyway? And not one-sided at that? You don't know anything about us.

[tablescraps]

Do you think it was one-sided?

[secondthoughts]

You're assuming there was love involved in the first place.