@Hector

[secondthoughts]

@Hector

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Message(s) Received;

@ Punisher - "Saw your post.I will drop by, ..."
@ Faunus - "yaoi dungeon. quest thing. you..."
@ Mr_Misteaks - "Mine was Lilith. She would hav..."
@ Anonymous - "Congratulations. You have unlo..."
@ Yael - "Δ Hidden Forbidden Bulwark. Me..."
@ KaraBear - "Hi Hector!I have a question fo..."
@ Mr_Misteaks - "Do you watch much TV?"
@ hana - "(555)123-4567 -Hana"
@ KaraBear - "Hey. Are you around right now?..."
@ zelkova - "Hello, Hector! :-)I'd like you..."
@ Mr_Misteaks - "HectorI fucked upSomeone's rea..."
@ mithrun1 - "How are you feeling?"
@ FlameMane - "hector i need a healer in lumi..."
@ oriade - "how do you feel about zelkova ..."
@ bigkitty - "He's alive."
@ Vogel - "Hi Hector,Do you happen to hav..."
@ Faunus - "Hey, Hector.I was wondering if..."
@ Owen - "i'm sorry.i was just surprised..."

Comments

[tablescraps]

I don't understand love well. But I want to.

[secondthoughts]

[ Hector doesn't know if this makes it any better.

That anyone would so openly call the feelings that he and Yael shared love makes him itch. They spent so long ignoring them, and it's surprising how quickly things fell apart when that truth virus weaseled (ha) it out of him.

He can't think of a worse example. ]

So you're asking ME about YAEL?

You're better off looking elsewhere.

[tablescraps]

You're not completely wrong. It's unrequited love I want to understand better, specifically. So I can't really find a use case for yours.

[secondthoughts]

[ Lol... ]

Okay. Good luck.

[secondthoughts]

[ —but wait a second. That would mean acknowledging that it WAS mutual and HELL NO. ]

Why do you even think this is LOVE, anyway? And not one-sided at that? You don't know anything about us.

[tablescraps]

Do you think it was one-sided?

[secondthoughts]

You're assuming there was love involved in the first place.

[tablescraps]

You just sound like you have feelings for him.

[secondthoughts]

[ RRAAAAGHHHH

Yael did say, to his face, that he is an easy read. L-o-fucking-l. ]

And what makes you say that?

[tablescraps]

You want me to list something specific so you can refute it? That'd be circular.

I guess I'll take note of what you said as potentially unrequited. But I'll try not to weight it as much.

( Sounds like he's made his choice and is too stubborn to be convincecd of it, sorry Hector, )

[secondthoughts]

[ Hector hates this so much.

But after a long moment of stewing in his guilt and letting it tug at him, he finally responds. ]







Just. Please don't tell anyone, okay?

Neither of us were supposed to feel this way, and neither of us were supposed to know how the other felt. Fai's hurting enough as it is. I feel like things would get needlessly complicated if other people found out.

[tablescraps]

( He was more content in the two seconds before when he thought there was a chance, however slim, that it might be unrequited... )

I won't tell anyone.

Do you know who really killed him?

[secondthoughts]

[ :| ]

He challenged Hien to a fight to the death after he saw me disappear.

Hien may have granted him his death wish, that doesn't change the fact that he decided to throw his life away because of me.

Hien is blameless, in my eyes.

[tablescraps]

( ...

Yael. Yael wake the fuck up I need to ask if you're fucking stupid. )

Hien didn't need to kill him. That was a choice he made. He still shares the blame.

Also, if you knew Yael better than I did, you would know Yael was already like that. (Hypocritical.) That doesn't really have anything to do with you.

( All ironic, since he'd been so sure back during their dumb little bet that Yael would outlive him, well beyond that five year timeframe... )

[secondthoughts]

I don't know about that.

Fai was upset because he thought his love for him wasn't enough to convince him to live. But it just sounds to me like his love for me was enough to convince him to choose death.

[ They are, in fact, so similar that Hector doesn't get what Mithrun means by "like that." ]

I feel like that has more than a little to do with me.

[tablescraps]

( hmmm this sure is familiar to mithrun !!!! it is the exact thing his loved ones have yelled at him about, )

Violence has nothing to do with other people. Revenge has nothing to do with other people. Grief has nothing to do with other people.

I can tell you're about to argue with me. Shut up. Stop whatever you're thinking. It has nothing to do with you.

He chose to feel what he did. He chose to do what he did. His anger was for him and him alone. You can argue he was thinking about you, but Fai's right between the two of you: he wasn't thinking about anyone. He was only thinking about himself. He just found someone willing to get him what he wanted.

Blame yourself all you want until it kills you, too. But it doesn't change that he died by his choice alone.

[secondthoughts]

[ Wow, Hector hates every word of this!

As he reads, he just feels his blood boil. All he can see is Mithrun trampling on his grief, shooting down the way he reads the situation. And it just hurts.

Maybe he just needs to be alone. He doesn't want to argue anymore. ]

Fine.

[ And that's all. Maybe he will cling to this guilt until it kills him. Who knows.

Bye Mithrun. This is the last conversation we'll ever have, though neither of us know it. ]