@Yael

[weaseled]

@yael

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[weaseled]

[Mithrun gets a gold star for attendance... a small one.]

You? Overreacting? That's hard to imagine.

[Do tell, Mithrun. Yael is more curious than he'll admit.]

[tablescraps]

I mentioned I was in love with someone who chose to marry my brother, right? I'd been sent away to study in my brother's place, and I heard the news when I graduated. I tried to graduate early because I wanted to see her again. We wrote letters, but she never mentioned anything about a proposal or engagement... so it was kind of a shock.

I don't really remember a lot of it. I know I took the news very badly. A professor I really trusted happened to be there at the time... Or, well, he "happened" to be, in retrospect. He took me to his place. I think I broke some mirrors. Then he convinced me into doing some dangerous things. I could have walked away, but I didn't.

I probably wouldn't do those exact things again, but... If I look back on it, I'm a pretty callous person. I don't think I handle myself or others very carefully.

[weaseled]

[Callous, huh.]

Your words, not mine.

But callous isn't the word I'd use. Sounds to me like you feel your emotions just as strongly as anyone else, but you don't know how to manage them. Easier to shove them all into a neat little box and ignore them completely, right? But that box can only hold so much.

I don't think who you are needs to change. What needs to change is the way you cope with your own feelings.

[tablescraps]

( He calls it like he sees it. He just has to understand he's seeing something.

pikashook, tho )

I see. How do you cope with yours?

[weaseled]

You think I deal with mine?

[He's no better than you, Mithrun. The PTSD well runs deep.]

I killed that Daniel asshole because he caught me in a bad mood. I can keep myself from flying off the handle when a relationship breaks off, but everyone's got their breaking points.

But you're not a lost cause like me. Talking things through seems to do you some good. Hell, you should consider journaling. Put your thoughts down on paper.

[tablescraps]

( Journaling....................... He'll consider it. )

What makes you a lost cause but not me?

[weaseled]

What's my excuse? A hard life? I'm just beyond help, but I'm not looking for it either.

You want to change and get better, so you will. That's the difference between us.

[tablescraps]

You'll be angry with me for giving up, but not yourself?

[weaseled]

Right. I'm what you might call a hypocrite. That doesn't mean my advice is useless to you.

[tablescraps]

It's not. But I'm going to hit you next time we meet.

[weaseled]

Yeah? I'd like to see you try.

That must mean you haven't forgotten what I taught you.

[tablescraps]

It's been useful. Since you don't take your own advice anyway, you should forget the self-defense and stand still for me.

[weaseled]

Who knows? Maybe I'll do that.

It's been a while since anyone tried knocking sense into me. You've got as good a chance as anyone.

[tablescraps]

I probably won't do a very good job of it. But I guess I have to try, right?

[weaseled]

That's fine. As long as you're making the effort, that's all I care about.

[tablescraps]

( u.................... )

How many years do you have left to live?

[weaseled]

Am I supposed to know the answer to that? What's wrong with you?

[Don't tell him you know how long you have left to live, Mithrun...]

[tablescraps]

( tehe )

A normal amount of years, then.

Don't give up so soon.

[weaseled]

You can't just say something like that, dumbass. What are you getting at?

[He worries about Mithrun enough. Does he need yet one more reason to concern himself with this grown ass adult kid?]

[tablescraps]

Just that a lot can change in a few years.

[weaseled]

Are you speaking from experience?

[tablescraps]

In a few different ways.

( So, yes. )

[weaseled]

You're such a pain in the ass.

[Translation: I worry a lot about you.]

Don't tell me you've got cancer and making it into this beta was your make-a-wish.

[tablescraps]

( player gripping yael from behind the fourth wall )

We're talking about you right now.

( Considering Mithrun's normally pretty forthcoming, the cageiness is certainly intentional. )

[weaseled]

Oh? So we're playing games now?

Answer my question and I'll answer yours... if I feel like it.

[please, he needs to KNOW,]