[There's a long pause as he digests it, letting it have its place in his mind. He remembers seeing Cael with a wedding band on but no spouse to be seen... but more importantly, he remembers how insistent Morgan had been all those weeks ago. Don't feel the same for anyone else.
...]
Morgan,
Just because I can't make a promise to you right now doesn't mean you should stop saying how you feel. I'm not really going to know otherwise. If I just run away on you for being honest, that's on me, not you.
Maybe you have things you can improve. I won't disagree. And I can't really imagine how much you must have felt hurt and abandoned. So if it makes you frustrated, I think that feeling makes sense.
I think you're being too hard on yourself. To me, it feels like you're jumping to a lot of conclusions just because you got hurt before. That's not fair to you, or to the people that want to care about you now.
Choosing to care about someone isn't a competition you have to win. It's hard work. And... I think you work hard on other things. So I think you could work hard on this, too.
People who see the good things in you will care about you for you. They'll try to be honest with you. And if you want to change things you think aren't good about yourself, they'll try to support you and help you grow if they can.
But they can only really do that if you let them. Right?
( There's a time before his reply comes. He's almost at the Chaos Gate by now, but...
... )
I really like you.
I trust you.
I prefer being with you.
I feel like I'm going to ruin things in some way because I'm not that good at getting better.
But I think I'm trying. I don't know if it's enough, to try instead of just do. But I think I am.
I'll... try to let you help me, for as long as you're willing. I don't know what that looks like, though. So... just be honest with me too, I guess. About what you need from me, what want from me.
I want you to remember that the only way you can't get any better at all is if you give up.
I want you to remember that a lot of people love you.
I want you to rest. Actually rest. When you're ready. [He is getting the idea that that isn't happening tonight.] Because while I want to be there to help you fight, I don't want to have to hope from the sidelines that you'll always get lucky.
I want to share a meal with you. And another after that, and then another. Because there's a lot I still want to share with you, no matter what happens.
I want to feel like my words still matter to you. I want you to remember that I never say things that I don't already mean with all my heart.
I really like you. And I trust you. I want to be here for you, and with you. I want to give you someone to talk to. I want to understand.
I just need you to talk to me, and to listen to what I have to say. If we can't do that, we'll never understand each other. And if we don't understand each other, then we'll never be able to help each other.
Thanks for still... being with me, even now. Even when you were Tarvos.
( Despite the things he said, he stayed. He... kept his promise, in the end, even if Macha had feared he would not. )
I'll remember this. All this. I might not do it right, at first, but... I mean it.
I just reached the Gate, so I won't respond to any messages for a bit, but I'll see you soon. Not long from now. ( And he does mean it, give or take time spent on his (lack of) navigational sense. ) I'll cook us a recipe from the game's library when I'm back.
[He's seen FD's comment by now, and it makes his stomach twinge in the light of this entire conversation. But he keeps it close to his chest, despite his upset at the choice.]
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...]
Morgan,
Just because I can't make a promise to you right now doesn't mean you should stop saying how you feel. I'm not really going to know otherwise. If I just run away on you for being honest, that's on me, not you.
Maybe you have things you can improve. I won't disagree. And I can't really imagine how much you must have felt hurt and abandoned. So if it makes you frustrated, I think that feeling makes sense.
I think you're being too hard on yourself. To me, it feels like you're jumping to a lot of conclusions just because you got hurt before. That's not fair to you, or to the people that want to care about you now.
Choosing to care about someone isn't a competition you have to win. It's hard work. And... I think you work hard on other things. So I think you could work hard on this, too.
People who see the good things in you will care about you for you. They'll try to be honest with you. And if you want to change things you think aren't good about yourself, they'll try to support you and help you grow if they can.
But they can only really do that if you let them. Right?
no subject
... )
I really like you.
I trust you.
I prefer being with you.
I feel like I'm going to ruin things in some way because I'm not that good at getting better.
But I think I'm trying. I don't know if it's enough, to try instead of just do. But I think I am.
I'll... try to let you help me, for as long as you're willing. I don't know what that looks like, though. So... just be honest with me too, I guess. About what you need from me, what want from me.
no subject
I want you to remember that the only way you can't get any better at all is if you give up.
I want you to remember that a lot of people love you.
I want you to rest. Actually rest. When you're ready. [He is getting the idea that that isn't happening tonight.] Because while I want to be there to help you fight, I don't want to have to hope from the sidelines that you'll always get lucky.
I want to share a meal with you. And another after that, and then another. Because there's a lot I still want to share with you, no matter what happens.
I want to feel like my words still matter to you. I want you to remember that I never say things that I don't already mean with all my heart.
I really like you. And I trust you. I want to be here for you, and with you. I want to give you someone to talk to. I want to understand.
I just need you to talk to me, and to listen to what I have to say. If we can't do that, we'll never understand each other. And if we don't understand each other, then we'll never be able to help each other.
Okay?
no subject
He really likes him so much. )
Okay.
Thanks for still... being with me, even now. Even when you were Tarvos.
( Despite the things he said, he stayed. He... kept his promise, in the end, even if Macha had feared he would not. )
I'll remember this. All this. I might not do it right, at first, but... I mean it.
I just reached the Gate, so I won't respond to any messages for a bit, but I'll see you soon. Not long from now. ( And he does mean it, give or take time spent on his (lack of) navigational sense. ) I'll cook us a recipe from the game's library when I'm back.
no subject
Okay. You're welcome.
Please be careful.