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10/17; un: oriade

[dissimulative]

[ The past week has been a Lot for Oria to take in, and now that he's finally allowed himself to process things since the meeting, he shoots Fai a message. ]

hey
sorry that this is a late message
do you wanna talk in person
or do you want to do it by inboxes
im good with either choice

[fluorite]

We can talk this way.

Are you doing alright?

[dissimulative]

yeah
more or less
im always fine!

[ But really. He's fine now, because he can afford to send Fai a message like this. ]

but seriously
what happened to YOU
are YOU doing alright??

[fluorite]

I will be.

Yael's dead. Maybe he's fine in real life, but I doubt it.

[dissimulative]

[ Oria doubts it too. Whoever dies here also dies in real life based on the information he heard from Shoka. ]

are you sure you dont want company

[fluorite]

I'll manage. You don't need to go out of your way for me.

Plenty of others already have.

[dissimulative]

im glad others did
but yuui
your lover
is dead
YOU THINK I WOULDNT WANT TO HELP YOU FEEL BETTER IN PERSON???


but that said if you dont wanna see more people
i get it
sometimes you just wanna be alone

[fluorite]

I know you do. But I've burdened enough people.

Maybe being alone for a while will be good for me.

[ And then, a few seconds later: ]

Do you think he would be surprised that there are a number of people not taking it well?

[dissimulative]

ITS NOT A BURDEN
EVEN IF IT IS
ITS OKAY TO SHARE IT WITH OTHERS
THATS WHAT FRIENDSHIP IS FOR



wait what??
did he not think that already??
OF COURSE THERE WOULD BE PEOPLE WHO WOULD MOURN HIM
LIKE YOU

[fluorite]

You know, Oria... You're actually really sweet.

Probably somewhere in his mind, he thinks no one will miss him. Even me.

[dissimulative]

:/
yuui
wtf is wrong with him

[fluorite]

He's stupid.

[dissimulative]

i wanna pummel him
how can he be so blind

[fluorite]

You and me both.

What am I going to do if we ever manage to get out? I'd already committed to following him wherever he needed to go to be happy.

[dissimulative]

well
you better not follow him to death
i wont allow that

[fluorite]

Don't worry. I won't be doing that, even if I feel lost.

[dissimulative]

good >:(
do you want to talk about it though
like
more

[fluorite]

I get the feeling you won't leave me alone regardless of what I say.

[ Which, of course, he says with affection. ]

So, we can.

You'll have to ask me things, though. My mind is all over the place.

[dissimulative]

thats right!!!
i definitely wont
how come he thinks that though
even though youre like
right there

[fluorite]

He was scared.

His fiancée left him because her family didn't approve of him. I think he still struggles with thinking someone will leave him alone again, so he can't accept it.

[dissimulative]

okay but
whether hes scared of being left alone or not
that doesnt invalidate your feelings about him
he cant just think "no one will care if i die"
and completely brush you off

[fluorite]

No, he can't.

Trust me, I'll have a good talk with him about this if we ever meet up in the afterlife.

[dissimulative]

i hope you write that down somewhere to remind yourself
i think you deserved a lot more
whether its more love from him
or whatever

[fluorite]

[ Maybe he shouldn't tell Oria this, but... he doesn't care. Why not? ]

I didn't exactly make it easy for him to love me. That came with a lot of hurt.

He had stronger feelings for me than I did for him.

You can think I deserved a lot more, but there was a lot we needed to work through.

[dissimulative]

he had stronger feelings than you
but he couldnt think of you when going off to die
i dont understand