Mithrun-kun, Morgan-kun tends to be indifferent toward most things, so if he’s avoiding you, it means he’s thinking about you. And that he feels something for you, good or bad. Please appreciate his efforts.
[ a long pause before they send another message answering the rest. ]
I guess I was bothered, a little? Maybe frustrated. Sorry, I’m not the best at recognizing my own feelings yet. It’s one thing to learn about emotions from watching people, and another entirely to feel… things…
www
I wish all of you could see what I see when I look at you. I’d like all three of you to understand. I think that’s the problem. But I also don’t understand you all completely. So… I’m being unfair.
Thinking? [Feeling is concerning. It had been an awkward situation, one that he still feels a thing of regret over now that he's sobered up. Had he said something or done something to Morgan that had hurt?]
Okay. Yeah. I appreciate it, Hani.
Well, the only way to really understand other people is to talk to them and listen to what they gotta say. But I get it, a little. It feels like a mystery sometimes.
What do you mean, "see what you see"? What kind of stuff do you see, Hani?
[It's all kind of a surprise. They'd seemed composed and together enough to be able to present back then. Did they have that much trouble understanding emotions?]
No, I don’t think I explained it well. Again, my apologies. I really am trying to practice feeling things better. And talking about it!
We did talk that day, didn’t we? A lot. It was truly a lovely picnic, and I had a good time. But when we (general!) talk, I listen and I accept your (also general!) point of view and offer you my own. I’m not looking to change anyone’s mind. [ even when they’re right! ] And I wish… just because I’m strange, just because I’m not as easily understood, or just because I’m easygoing, I wish my point of view didn’t get dismissed. Sometimes.
A lot of the time I don’t mind. Sometimes, surprisingly, I do. Even though none of this is malicious and I know I’m loved or liked.
You’re all very beautiful, that’s all.
[ they press send even though they doubt anything here makes sense, thoughts all out of order. ]
I thought I was, sure. But you said you felt your opinion was invalidated, right? That can happen when someone doesn't listen closely to you, or if they don't understand that something is important to you.
You got up and left pretty fast. I don't know you very well yet, Hani. But it felt like you wanted some space.
[ hani thinks about it. and then they type a bunch of stuff that maybe only makes sense to them. ]
But will this stop you from picnicking with us again?
We have to learn how to hurt before we can learn how to heal. I don’t think that makes you an idiot, but your brain may say otherwise, and that’s fine. I just don’t think so.
But please keep in mind we are still learning you and you are still learning us. And maybe still learning yourself?
I think we should be encouraging Bear-kun rather than putting him down for learning. I really like Bear-kun.
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no subject
You left us yesterday pretty fast. I wanted to apologize if something I said upset you.
no subject
Oh, that. There's no need, it wasn't you, exactly. You were true to yourself and I think that's wonderful.
no subject
So long as you're sure. Did something else bother you?
no subject
[ a long pause before they send another message answering the rest. ]
I guess I was bothered, a little? Maybe frustrated. Sorry, I’m not the best at recognizing my own feelings yet. It’s one thing to learn about emotions from watching people, and another entirely to feel… things…
www
I wish all of you could see what I see when I look at you. I’d like all three of you to understand. I think that’s the problem. But I also don’t understand you all completely. So… I’m being unfair.
But it’s still frustrating. ╰(● ⋏ ●)╯
no subject
Okay. Yeah. I appreciate it, Hani.
Well, the only way to really understand other people is to talk to them and listen to what they gotta say. But I get it, a little. It feels like a mystery sometimes.
What do you mean, "see what you see"? What kind of stuff do you see, Hani?
[It's all kind of a surprise. They'd seemed composed and together enough to be able to present back then. Did they have that much trouble understanding emotions?]
no subject
No, I don’t think I explained it well. Again, my apologies. I really am trying to practice feeling things better. And talking about it!
We did talk that day, didn’t we? A lot. It was truly a lovely picnic, and I had a good time. But when we (general!) talk, I listen and I accept your (also general!) point of view and offer you my own. I’m not looking to change anyone’s mind. [ even when they’re right! ] And I wish… just because I’m strange, just because I’m not as easily understood, or just because I’m easygoing, I wish my point of view didn’t get dismissed. Sometimes.
A lot of the time I don’t mind. Sometimes, surprisingly, I do. Even though none of this is malicious and I know I’m loved or liked.
You’re all very beautiful, that’s all.
[ they press send even though they doubt anything here makes sense, thoughts all out of order. ]
no subject
You felt like we weren't listening?
Why didn't you say anything, Hani? I'm sure the others would have wanted to listen if you felt that strongly about it.
no subject
[ now they’re confused. hrm… they definitely didn’t explain it right. they need to consult with someone who’s a master at feelings like michel. ]
I don’t know if I felt strongly about it either. Do you think so?
no subject
You got up and left pretty fast. I don't know you very well yet, Hani. But it felt like you wanted some space.
I don't know how else you felt.
no subject
[ literally typing it all out in their phone, saving it in the same location as justy’s beyoncé love lessons. ]
Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t really understand what I was feeling at the time. I think.
And I don’t know how to handle being frustrated.
I just needed to do something for a little while.
But I came back!
no subject
And I'm really glad you came back. I don't remember a lot. But I was worried about you being on your own without us.
I thought maybe you didn't want a picnic anymore.
no subject
No! No. It was the complete opposite. I’d like another picnic with you.
It sounds a little like you didn’t have much fun though. Am I wrong?
no subject
I feel I made a big mistake, though.
no subject
What big mistake?
no subject
It's not anyone's fault. I just felt like an idiot after.
no subject
[ hani thinks about it. and then they type a bunch of stuff that maybe only makes sense to them. ]
But will this stop you from picnicking with us again?
We have to learn how to hurt before we can learn how to heal. I don’t think that makes you an idiot, but your brain may say otherwise, and that’s fine. I just don’t think so.
But please keep in mind we are still learning you and you are still learning us. And maybe still learning yourself?
I think we should be encouraging Bear-kun rather than putting him down for learning. I really like Bear-kun.