@tabibito

[tinged]

@tabibito

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[tinged]

I am not weak. I am not going anywhere.

I don’t want you to touch him again and you said you wouldn’t. I trust that. If you make another mistake, then we will learn from it together.

Just because you hit me doesn’t mean I’ll break. It doesn’t mean I’m not at fault for hurting you and wanting to. You know I did.

[gluttoning]

...

It's okay. I think I deserved as much.

But I wish you would have fought back. I wish any of you would have.

[tinged]

It is not, but I am not sorry. If I say it, it would be a lie, and I don’t want to lie to you.

I would have if I could have.

[gluttoning]

I don't want you to be sorry. You shouldn't be.

Good.

I don't understand you enough when you're that angry. You act different. Like that time you ran away into a dungeon, when you felt your feelings were being ignored.

I wish I could have seen more. So I could understand.

Maybe you would hate me.

[tinged]

Bear-kun?

[ some of this reads disjointed, making parsing the entire message difficult for them. ]

[gluttoning]

?

Yes?

[tinged]

[ … ]

Do you want me to hate you?

[gluttoning]

No?

Maybe.

I don't know.

My heart says no. You're my friend.

But I think your anger is different.

[tinged]

Oh. The monster. Yes, I think so.

But it doesn’t hold on to anger the way you may want it to. It can’t hate other than in brief bursts.

[gluttoning]

Why do you call it a monster?

[tinged]

That’s what it is inside me. That’s the word that came to mind first.

[gluttoning]

[A pause.]

Does it ever feel like it's eating you alive?

[tinged]

Not me. It wants to eat you. Everyone in my heart.

[gluttoning]

Do you want that to happen?

[tinged]

Sometimes, I want to let it. And...



I think I would let it rather than let you all be taken from me by anyone.

[gluttoning]

We can't promise forever.

What do you think you would do if one of us was taken?

[What extremes would they take? What vengeance would they seek?]

[tinged]

Oh, Bear... What wouldn't I do? wwww

[gluttoning]

Tell me.

I want to know.

[tinged]

You will know when it happens. So don’t run until then.

[gluttoning]

Your family and roommate won't be happy if I don't stay away.

[tinged]

Your family wasn’t happy when I didn’t stay away either.

[gluttoning]

What?

Booker was fine with it. What are you talking about?

[tinged]

The blue cookie. Lucas.

[gluttoning]

I don't know who that is. That isn't my family.

[tinged]

Lucas. Matt, Levi, Damian, Aiden, Booker. Lilith - Lily.

Blue, yellow, orange, dark purple, pink, black. Chocolate.

Remember these names because I might not. Come back to this message everyday and whisper them like a promise to yourself. To her.

If you can’t keep any other promise, keep this one.