Thank you. I love you, Michel Bollinger. This will remain a truth between us.
[ the rest of their message is delayed for a time. then: ]
This is one. One memory I still have, though parts of it have faded. I’m not sure if it’s because of Lily or myself. I’m not sure if it’s painful, yet… echoing your words from earlier, it is a piece of me I cannot give up. It is a secret, perhaps too cruel of me to share. It is heavy, I think. Will you listen?
[ a locked box they’ve never known what to do with. sometimes flashes of its content come to mind for no reason at all. with these messages, with this patchwork person, could they let go at last? ]
If all I can do for you is listen, then yes. I will hold it as gently as I can.
[ He doesn't fear its weight. But secrets are becoming too risky, anymore. Things kept buried vanish under the cover of snow, until no one will ever know they were there.
And on some level, he needs this. Perhaps... just to know he can help Hani, the way Hani has helped him. ]
[ it starts out whimsical as though they can’t help it: ]
As you know, Ganymede’s side of the family is very beautiful, and I am related to him through my mother. It is a fact that we are both extremely beautiful.
So when a Tachibana child was born with white-blond hair and blue eyes, it caused quite a stir. Our family dates back further than the United States I am told; we are very traditional and equally superstitious.
I say “we”… But I suppose I mean “them.”
As Tachibana Hayanari, I was worshipped as a special existence. A child touched by beauty and luck. Surely, they said, I had been chosen by the gods. My hair was kept only a little shorter than it is on my avatar and there were… so many white kimonos. So many. To keep me pure; to make sure everyone knew what I was when they saw me.
One day, there was a man. I don’t… remember what he looks like. But I do remember realizing in a curious way that he wanted me. He was always following me with his gaze. One day, he followed me to my room. He asked if he could touch me, and I said yes. I wonder why… I don’t remember what I was thinking. I remember the futon under me. My white kimono. My tabi socks. I remember the blue mountain sky out of the corner of my eye through the open sliding doors. It was very beautiful, the colors. I wanted to leave to see more of it. And I did, soon after.
That is my family’s secret. You don’t need to say anything about this. I may forget soon anyway.
[ Hani might not have been certain, but he is — it's painful. It hurts. Deeply, fiercely. But he can feel that pain etching the memory into his bones, in a place where the shifting tides here can't carry it away again.
Good. Good. He wants to be able to hold onto at least a small piece of them. ]
I'll keep it for you, even if you forget. It isn't too heavy for me.
I won't say anything about this until I need to. But I will say... I am neither an angel nor a demon, no matter what others want from me. And you are not chosen by the gods. You're only... yourself. That's more than enough of a special existence.
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[ the rest of their message is delayed for a time. then: ]
This is one. One memory I still have, though parts of it have faded. I’m not sure if it’s because of Lily or myself. I’m not sure if it’s painful, yet… echoing your words from earlier, it is a piece of me I cannot give up. It is a secret, perhaps too cruel of me to share. It is heavy, I think. Will you listen?
[ a locked box they’ve never known what to do with. sometimes flashes of its content come to mind for no reason at all. with these messages, with this patchwork person, could they let go at last? ]
no subject
[ He doesn't fear its weight. But secrets are becoming too risky, anymore. Things kept buried vanish under the cover of snow, until no one will ever know they were there.
And on some level, he needs this. Perhaps... just to know he can help Hani, the way Hani has helped him. ]
cw: CSA, dub-con
As you know, Ganymede’s side of the family is very beautiful, and I am related to him through my mother. It is a fact that we are both extremely beautiful.
So when a Tachibana child was born with white-blond hair and blue eyes, it caused quite a stir. Our family dates back further than the United States I am told; we are very traditional and equally superstitious.
I say “we”… But I suppose I mean “them.”
As Tachibana Hayanari, I was worshipped as a special existence. A child touched by beauty and luck. Surely, they said, I had been chosen by the gods. My hair was kept only a little shorter than it is on my avatar and there were… so many white kimonos. So many. To keep me pure; to make sure everyone knew what I was when they saw me.
One day, there was a man.
I don’t… remember what he looks like. But I do remember realizing in a curious way that he wanted me. He was always following me with his gaze. One day, he followed me to my room. He asked if he could touch me, and I said yes. I wonder why… I don’t remember what I was thinking.I remember the futon under me. My white kimono. My tabi socks. I remember the blue mountain sky out of the corner of my eye through the open sliding doors. It was very beautiful, the colors. I wanted to leave to see more of it. And I did, soon after.
That is my family’s secret. You don’t need to say anything about this. I may forget soon anyway.
no subject
Good. Good. He wants to be able to hold onto at least a small piece of them. ]
I'll keep it for you, even if you forget. It isn't too heavy for me.
I won't say anything about this until I need to. But I will say... I am neither an angel nor a demon, no matter what others want from me. And you are not chosen by the gods. You're only... yourself. That's more than enough of a special existence.