Owen, I cannot think of a single thing you have to apologize for.
If anything, I should apologize for not contacting you first. For fading away in your arms. For putting you through everything that Fidchell put you through.
No. Of course not. It's just a difficult concept, that I would feel actual affection for anyone, much less that someone I actually do like would return it.
how do you think i feel about all of this? you've already seen how embarrassing i got when everyone was getting all overly emotional a few weeks ago.
[Not that Fandaniel didn't get just as embarrassing in a different way.]
but the least i can do is not try to run away from my feelings, even if admitting i care about you isn't exactly what i was expecting to do. was pretty sure you weren't going to be coming back, but it shows how much i know.
[If a dead man hadn't called him out so severely for his abandonment issues he'd probably continue to say nothing or deny everything, but, unfortunately, that happened.]
Oho, so you would not turn and flee if I tracked you down to run into your arms and give you a kiss?
[ Anyway, now that they've admitted they likes each other in the most lackluster way possible, it's time to fall back to what's the most comfortable. Poking fun at one another and being rude. ]
Or would you be worried that I might get dead man germs all over you?
[Since he had asked Hector to marry him, and he'd already gone to see him... This is Owen's chance to run away from his feelings while still being honest about them! Hector's a way better choice, so Owen could just accept that Fandaniel would pick him and not have to think about anything else. It wouldn't sting at all. Definitely not.
Except he can't find it in himself to be that much of a coward, unfortunately.]
but if that's what you wanted, i wouldn't run away. and don't talk like i'm some kid afraid of cooties.
I don't think it's that common to want to commit to your friend with benefits. That's the term, is it not?
[ Look, in his heart of hearts, he just wants both of them, but that's terribly greedy of him. ]
This has been a confusing time... and I do not know how much of it we have left. If we get out of here, I intend to live, and finally move to California, just as Yuui — Fai — has been bothering me to do for ages now.
If we cannot find time to meet outside of a battle here, in Fragment, can we meet in the real world?
[Sometimes you get along too well and then the next thing you know you're dreaming of domestic bliss and running a food delivery service...]
well, if you end up at either of them you won't be that far from me.
maybe i will. i've never actually gone to see the sequoias since moving to the states, and it's been a few years now. i'm sure hector won't mind the two of us visiting. i'd be shocked if he did.
do you ever think of returning to the countryside? or is that sort of quaint lifestyle too dull to the man you are now
i've admittedly always lived in cities, but growing up in england was a far cry from the cities i've stayed in overseas. there were a lots of places to get lost in in the north, when i didn't feel like practicing or listening to my foster families... but it's been several years since i was doing daily training, so i might be in a worse spot than you. struggling is half the fun, though.
Constantly but there is very little in the way of work for someone like me in places like that. I actually despise living in Tokyo but that's where I was needed while functioning as a science officer for the Diet.
If I could afford to abandon it all and simply buy myself a farmhouse in some speck of a town, I would have in a heartbeat.
Oh well. What's life without some out-of-reach dreams like that? I'll just as happily take struggling up a Calfornia hiking trail alongside you. That dream is much more closer within reach.
yes, i can imagine you holed up all alone with books all around you studying dutifully for hours and hours… i’m not asking about dancing in clubs, though.
you see, dancing has always been a big part of my life. i did ballet professionally for several years, in fact, though i have not been on stage since… well. i’ve told you, before, what i tried to do to myself. i still danced for myself once i recovered, but that’s irrelevant.
the point is i’d like to share a little bit of this with you. if you’d like to try, though we would obviously start with something actually feasible for a beginner. if you don’t want to try that’s okay. i don’t care. i just… thought it might be nice, especially as i never did get to dance pas de deux in the company.
[ Why does this feel like a very intimate thing to be asked...? If gives Fandaniel pause, thinking about it. He's sure he'll trip over his own feet and yet? ]
I would love to try. I cannot promise to be any good, of course.
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If anything, I should apologize for not contacting you first. For fading away in your arms. For putting you through everything that Fidchell put you through.
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you didn't choose to do all of that, so it doesn't matter. it was all just... dreams and programming.
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Do you really feel that way? About me? Or is it unkind of me to ask so soon?
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is there ever a good time to ask a question like that?
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do you take issue with that?
[owen voice: he definitely has issues with that.]
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No. Of course not. It's just a difficult concept, that I would feel actual affection for anyone, much less that someone I actually do like would return it.
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[Not that Fandaniel didn't get just as embarrassing in a different way.]
but the least i can do is not try to run away from my feelings, even if admitting i care about you isn't exactly what i was expecting to do. was pretty sure you weren't going to be coming back, but it shows how much i know.
[If a dead man hadn't called him out so severely for his abandonment issues he'd probably continue to say nothing or deny everything, but, unfortunately, that happened.]
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[ Anyway, now that they've admitted they likes each other in the most lackluster way possible, it's time to fall back to what's the most comfortable. Poking fun at one another and being rude. ]
Or would you be worried that I might get dead man germs all over you?
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[Since he had asked Hector to marry him, and he'd already gone to see him... This is Owen's chance to run away from his feelings while still being honest about them! Hector's a way better choice, so Owen could just accept that Fandaniel would pick him and not have to think about anything else. It wouldn't sting at all. Definitely not.
Except he can't find it in himself to be that much of a coward, unfortunately.]
but if that's what you wanted, i wouldn't run away. and don't talk like i'm some kid afraid of cooties.
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[ Look, in his heart of hearts, he just wants both of them, but that's terribly greedy of him. ]
This has been a confusing time... and I do not know how much of it we have left. If we get out of here, I intend to live, and finally move to California, just as Yuui — Fai — has been bothering me to do for ages now.
If we cannot find time to meet outside of a battle here, in Fragment, can we meet in the real world?
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[Owen is just as greedy, honestly, even if he’s too nervous to say anything to Hector because of Hector seeing him at his lowest…
Even if Hector doesn’t remember! Owen does (again)! It’s all too complicated (it isn’t).]
which part of the state will you move to?
and… if i don’t see you soon, hector will start nagging at me. or so he’s threatened to do.
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Which part? It would depend heavily upon where I found work. I might end up at a university or somewhere between San Jose and San Francisco.
Ohhh? Is that so? wwww amazing. Well, he's decided I have no choice but to visit him to see his sequoias in his big park. You should tag along~
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well, if you end up at either of them you won't be that far from me.
maybe i will. i've never actually gone to see the sequoias since moving to the states, and it's been a few years now. i'm sure hector won't mind the two of us visiting. i'd be shocked if he did.
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See some big trees and tease Hector all vacation wrong. That sounds like a fantastic vacation to me.
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so long as you like hiking. are you much of an outdoorsman, or will hector have to carry you?
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Afterward, I was forced to move to an orphanage in the city.
So I may not be able to hike very much these days but I think I would still enjoy trying.
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i've admittedly always lived in cities, but growing up in england was a far cry from the cities i've stayed in overseas. there were a lots of places to get lost in in the north, when i didn't feel like practicing or listening to my foster families... but it's been several years since i was doing daily training, so i might be in a worse spot than you. struggling is half the fun, though.
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If I could afford to abandon it all and simply buy myself a farmhouse in some speck of a town, I would have in a heartbeat.
Oh well. What's life without some out-of-reach dreams like that? I'll just as happily take struggling up a Calfornia hiking trail alongside you. That dream is much more closer within reach.
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don't discount all your dreams just yet.
do you know anything about dancing?
[A complete non sequitur of a question, at first glance, but Owen has his own dreams and things he wants to drag Fandaniel into.]
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[ nani ]
No, I don't. You can probably imagine I wasn't much for attending clubs and dance parties during my school years.
[ AKA he's a nerd, a neeeeerrrd. ]
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you see, dancing has always been a big part of my life. i did ballet professionally for several years, in fact, though i have not been on stage since… well. i’ve told you, before, what i tried to do to myself. i still danced for myself once i recovered, but that’s irrelevant.
the point is i’d like to share a little bit of this with you. if you’d like to try, though we would obviously start with something actually feasible for a beginner. if you don’t want to try that’s okay. i don’t care. i just… thought it might be nice, especially as i never did get to dance pas de deux in the company.
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I would love to try. I cannot promise to be any good, of course.
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i’ll set my expectations accordingly, though i can’t promise not to laugh if you trip more than once.
[He’s not going to say anything about how touched he is that Fandaniel is willing to give it a try, but he’s definitely feeling it.]
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