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[fluorite]

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[fluorite]

Of course I can forgive you.

[ After all, Fai doesn't really share anything about himself at all, even with those he should be close to. ]

People are difficult and complex. Even the most sociable people might think that they struggle being around others.

I do think that this game could help you with that, at least.

[ophidie]

Maybe it will. I don't even know if that's how I want to be. I don't always have a problem with it. I didn't care about being written off by girls at school. They'd already made up their mind about me.

Maybe I'm not someone who believes or wants to be otherwise, but someone who who hopes another person will prove me wrong instead.

[And that still gives her plenty to chew on regarding whether the choice to take a risk on this game was the right one.]

[fluorite]

[ Ah... her last line resonates with him, even if it's for a different reason. ]

I think many of us hope that the right person will come along and make us see ourselves in a better light. You aren't alone in that feeling whatsoever.

[ophidie]

[It's a lot easier to say someone isn't alone than to convince them they aren't, but she brushes that off silently without responding to it, the way she would any other number of platitudes.]

Yeah. I think in that event that ever happened, it'd be enough to satisfy me. It might not change anything about me, but it'd be like having something that made it feel worth it.

[fluorite]

[ She's opening up about that much, so... ]

I think I would feel the same, in a sense. Of course, I'd like to be a better person at the end of it all, but having someone there who would say good things to me would make everything a lot easier to bear.

[ophidie]

Right. At the very least, even if I didn't deserve it...I might have been able to earn their love somehow.

Do you think that's what it would take to become a better person? Doing it for the sake of someone else?

[She might be in the depths of the goblin curse echo chamber, but she's self-aware enough to see that he's speaking from his perspective, too, without calling it out directly.]

[fluorite]

[ "Earn their love", huh? That's painful to read, so much so he has to read that line a few times over. ]

Sometimes, there isn't anything you can do when it comes to someone else's feelings for you.

It could be. Of course, you can become a better person simply for yourself too. There's no harm in that.

[ophidie]

I know. Sometimes there's really no use even in trying. Maybe that's why I've written it off. I might never know someone as deeply as I want to...but that's a problem when I'm not sure I like what I want to know about myself, either.

But at least I'm used to doing things for myself. It gets kind of tiring. It sure seems like the goal always keeps moving.

[fluorite]

It's hard, isn't it?

The goal will always move, unfortunately. I've learned that much over the last few years.

[ophidie]

No kidding. [It is hard, and even labeling it like that is a huge understatement.]

It is what it is. At least if I'm the one moving the goals I have no one to blame but myself. I think I must have been hoping, at least a little bit, that she'd notice. You know, "I'm worried you'll spend too much time on that game instead of your studies," or something like that. But she never notices.

[fluorite]

[ Ah... that must hurt, to have that hope crushed every passing day she doesn't notice. ]

Is she away from home a lot?

[ophidie]

No. She's home all the time.

[There's a big difference between being home and being here.]

[fluorite]

I see.

[ For a few minutes, that's all Fai says. After all, what can he even say?

But he eventually sends another message after a bit of debate: ]

I hope you aren't neglecting your studies.

[ophidie]

[… What. ]

What, do you think that’s cute? It’s not, you know.

[Thank god this is over text! She’s flustered, but at least this way he might buy the angry response at face value.]

[fluorite]

[ He thinks it over, wondering if that angry response is all there is to it. If it is… well, it’s a good thing he has a thick skin. ]

I’m not being cute, actually. I mean it. Are you taking time out of your day to study? You’re not neglecting other things for the game too, are you?

[ophidie]

[She can't tell if she's supposed to be feeling pitied by this or not, which does make her itch to fold in for self-protection. How did she end up in this position, again...? Thanks to the goblin curse, it's just another choice for her to, well, "reflect" on. Even if she's still suspicious, on the lookout for patronization, she finally answers honestly.]

I am. I can't afford to lose my scholarship, or it really will've been not worth it.

No one's going to clean the house if I don't get to it, either.

[fluorite]

Then in that case, I hope you enjoy the game. You work hard enough that you deserve to spend some time doing something fun.

[ It's probably impossible to tell over text whether what he's saying is out of pity or not, but his words are still there and plain for her to see. ]

[ophidie]

[It is impossible to tell, so it can just get folded into her overthinking rotation for the rest of the night.]

Right. Thanks for the encouragement, auntie.

It might go against your previous wishes, but I bet you'll tell me to log out and get some sleep, too.

[fluorite]

You’re right, I will. It’s getting pretty late, so you wouldn’t want your studies to be affected.

Good night, Scitalis. Rest well.