You say that Zelkova found happiness. How can that be? How was he able to?
[ This is not what he should be seeking answers on. He has a different purpose and yet... and yet? It feels important. As though it ties into it.
He struggles to focus on it. He has to. He must. It's important. ]
I wish we were not fated to end this all in violence, truly, but I would be a fool to not realize there are some amongst your number who will want only that and nothing more. Mithrun. Vogel. Oriade. They reek of death all on their own.
[ Vogel may claim otherwise but he knows better. This will end messily. Who will be triumphant atop the mountain of bodies, though, once all the dust settles? ]
Small things I believe. Talking to us, making friends… Being able to make a birthday wish for the first time. He said even an invitation to the party was enough for it to feel like a celebration. I want that for Lily, all of these things he was never allowed to have before.
If Zelkova-kun wasn’t capable of finding happiness, then Lily wouldn’t be either.
Unless, Master, you mean Zelkova-kun wouldn’t be able to be happy in his current state. Do you know where he is?
That I do not know. Where he could have gone is a mystery to me as well.
I did mean how he came to know happiness before his disappearance. Small things, you say. Lily could have such small things as well if only people let him. Misteaks and I had a picnic with him, once, in his garden. He tried cooking for us. It was not particularly good, no, and I think the taste may have disturbed the poor man somewhat...
But he had tried, without any help or guidance. That mattered so much to me. Next time, I will ask him to help me cook instead so that he can see how I do it.
Just as he wasn’t given a chance to be understood, I believe he did not give a good majority of us the opportunity to understand him either. We have no way of talking to him, of sitting down and having conversations. Most of us can only try to interpret his actions and his actions have harmed people. I understand that some of this is his fear as a child, and neither he nor us tipped the first domino, but these small things could happen to him, if he could learn to allow more than just the select few.
But I am… extremely relieved to know that you have experienced those moments with him. I hope at the end of all this, he will realize that he matters to more people than he thinks.
[ His knee-jerk reaction is to argue. He wants to. They would have attacked immediately! They wouldn't have given him a chance! They would have done what all humans do and that's destroy! But this is Tabibito he is discussing this with.
They are offered far more grace than anyone else, apart from, perhaps, Fai and maybe even Hector, depending on the circumstances. ]
Accepting that as true is difficult for me but I continue to find little fault in your argument, Tabibito. If only Lily had chosen you to carry one of his cores, you would have met earlier, had a better chance to sit down and talk. That cannot be, however.
The time for that has long since passed.
Wishing for any of this means nothing now. We must wait until he has completed collecting his data and then, then perhaps you will all have your chance, only I fear that humans will do what humans do best. They will kill him.
With Macha and Tarvos being destroyed now, I wonder, was the Wave being defeated the foregone conclusion? Was my own prediction thrown by this desire for us to obtain our paradise? I begin to believe I have been foolish, dear student.
I am, perhaps, not what he is seeking. I might never be. Once when we spoke in my dream, he said... I was far less human than the rest of you. I don't believe he's wrong. What he wants is to understand human hearts, and as someone who has only recently learned how to use my own... Well, I am still a student after all.
Humans are also the best at carrying hope. We can cradle it in our hearts even when surrounded by ruin. That is also what some would call foolish.
I urge you to follow your heart. He chose your heart for a reason, did he not? The shape of your paradise may change, yet still remain true to what you've always wanted. The road to the end is not a straight path, it never is.
[ killing lily, defending lily - hani feels like they could do either, so they cannot refute his claim just yet. ]
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[ This is not what he should be seeking answers on. He has a different purpose and yet... and yet? It feels important. As though it ties into it.
He struggles to focus on it. He has to. He must. It's important. ]
I wish we were not fated to end this all in violence, truly, but I would be a fool to not realize there are some amongst your number who will want only that and nothing more. Mithrun. Vogel. Oriade. They reek of death all on their own.
[ Vogel may claim otherwise but he knows better. This will end messily. Who will be triumphant atop the mountain of bodies, though, once all the dust settles? ]
no subject
If Zelkova-kun wasn’t capable of finding happiness, then Lily wouldn’t be either.
Unless, Master, you mean Zelkova-kun wouldn’t be able to be happy in his current state. Do you know where he is?
no subject
I did mean how he came to know happiness before his disappearance. Small things, you say. Lily could have such small things as well if only people let him. Misteaks and I had a picnic with him, once, in his garden. He tried cooking for us. It was not particularly good, no, and I think the taste may have disturbed the poor man somewhat...
But he had tried, without any help or guidance. That mattered so much to me. Next time, I will ask him to help me cook instead so that he can see how I do it.
no subject
But I am… extremely relieved to know that you have experienced those moments with him. I hope at the end of all this, he will realize that he matters to more people than he thinks.
no subject
[ His knee-jerk reaction is to argue. He wants to. They would have attacked immediately! They wouldn't have given him a chance! They would have done what all humans do and that's destroy! But this is Tabibito he is discussing this with.
They are offered far more grace than anyone else, apart from, perhaps, Fai and maybe even Hector, depending on the circumstances. ]
Accepting that as true is difficult for me but I continue to find little fault in your argument, Tabibito. If only Lily had chosen you to carry one of his cores, you would have met earlier, had a better chance to sit down and talk. That cannot be, however.
The time for that has long since passed.
Wishing for any of this means nothing now. We must wait until he has completed collecting his data and then, then perhaps you will all have your chance, only I fear that humans will do what humans do best. They will kill him.
With Macha and Tarvos being destroyed now, I wonder, was the Wave being defeated the foregone conclusion? Was my own prediction thrown by this desire for us to obtain our paradise? I begin to believe I have been foolish, dear student.
no subject
Humans are also the best at carrying hope. We can cradle it in our hearts even when surrounded by ruin. That is also what some would call foolish.
I urge you to follow your heart. He chose your heart for a reason, did he not? The shape of your paradise may change, yet still remain true to what you've always wanted. The road to the end is not a straight path, it never is.
[ killing lily, defending lily - hani feels like they could do either, so they cannot refute his claim just yet. ]