Between an empty doll and one that has only learned evil, which is the more pathetic one? Neither is particularly appealing, if I am honest.
Where my own capacity is concerned, I'm more than aware of my own failings. But I have chosen to follow the path that's been set out for me. In order to be the best of that which I must be, I made the sacrifices that were necessary.
But choosing to sacrifice aspects of my humanity, such as capacity for empathy or kindness, doesn't mean I've forgotten them entirely, or that I lack perspective on them in others.
It was absolutely necessary? You willingly made the choice?
[ it hurts in a different way reading these words. their hurt with the other two was twisted with frustration. stupid, stupid choices made when everything had already been laid at their feet. for him, they ache in understanding. so… an unavoidable path lays before him. even with others walking similar roads, his feels utterly solitary. he hasn’t just started - he’s already set out and what they’re watching now is the back of a friend walking away. ]
I know you would never run. That’s not like you. You may walk in the shadows, but you always walk forward, careful of what’s behind, aware of what’s ahead.
But…
Must you bear this duty alone? This feels like goodbye.
What you’ve sacrificed - will you accept it back when this is all over?
After all, tabibito-san, it's because I know I can entrust some things to you that I can rest easy.
Oops~ But that's me being a little selfish, isn't it? Maybe I shouldn't say that.
[Aah, but he's glad they understand exactly what he expects of them. It means he really can rest easy... Then, this plan of his might actually work out.......]
Are you worried for what will happen to me afterwards? Don't be. I won't need to hold anything back when I'm done. [And they've already talked about where he's going.]
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Where my own capacity is concerned, I'm more than aware of my own failings. But I have chosen to follow the path that's been set out for me. In order to be the best of that which I must be, I made the sacrifices that were necessary.
But choosing to sacrifice aspects of my humanity, such as capacity for empathy or kindness, doesn't mean I've forgotten them entirely, or that I lack perspective on them in others.
That is the difference, in my view.
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It was absolutely necessary? You willingly made the choice?
[ it hurts in a different way reading these words. their hurt with the other two was twisted with frustration. stupid, stupid choices made when everything had already been laid at their feet. for him, they ache in understanding. so… an unavoidable path lays before him. even with others walking similar roads, his feels utterly solitary. he hasn’t just started - he’s already set out and what they’re watching now is the back of a friend walking away. ]
You have to be this.
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[Which is to say: there was never a choice.]
But I'd rather face that fate eye to eye than to be the coward who abandons his duty for fleeting selfishness.
So if you want me to be more exact with my words, what I've really chosen is my creed.
[To be a tool that shields others- his family, or otherwise.]
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But…
Must you bear this duty alone? This feels like goodbye.
What you’ve sacrificed - will you accept it back when this is all over?
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After all, tabibito-san, it's because I know I can entrust some things to you that I can rest easy.
Oops~ But that's me being a little selfish, isn't it? Maybe I shouldn't say that.
[Aah, but he's glad they understand exactly what he expects of them. It means he really can rest easy... Then, this plan of his might actually work out.......]
Are you worried for what will happen to me afterwards? Don't be. I won't need to hold anything back when I'm done. [And they've already talked about where he's going.]