( Mithrun turns over Barrett's message, even though it isn't very long.
He has been since the start aware of the inconvenience his condition poses - since he first regained consciousness in the hospital bed, two years ago, though he did not respond or think, or even have a desire to process. He understood, in the same general sense that you understand you are kept only alive by machines and cathers, that it hurt people to look at him. The only way they could expel that guilt was to feel pity. But he didn't mind.
That was that, though. It's very easy when you don't do much more than exist, kept alive by the will of another. He did not have to mind how he made other people feel.
But he thinks he's coming to understand a little better now what there is beyond that abstract hurt - the shades of concern, and their causes. The way people get frustrated with him drowning, or walking through Areas hurt. A concern he could not speak up for himself. Concern that he simply gave up. He doesn't mind those things; they don't hurt him. But they hurt other people, in a way different than those who pitied him, or felt uncomfortable, when he was in the hospital bed.
You can't hurt someone who doesn't mind being hurt. But hurting him hurts them, in turn. Is it because they care for him?
And is that why Barrett would have said yes? )
I can stop someone if I dislike something.
( Addressing that first, since Barrett's been so concerned about it. He can. That boundary is just really deep inland, and he needs to work out what he likes and dislikes to enforce it. But, he's capable. )
I wouldn't have disliked it, if you said yes. I can say that now, while sober.
But it's better that you didn't agree to anything you were unsure about.
You shouldn't indulge more than you want to, either.
no subject
He has been since the start aware of the inconvenience his condition poses - since he first regained consciousness in the hospital bed, two years ago, though he did not respond or think, or even have a desire to process. He understood, in the same general sense that you understand you are kept only alive by machines and cathers, that it hurt people to look at him. The only way they could expel that guilt was to feel pity. But he didn't mind.
That was that, though. It's very easy when you don't do much more than exist, kept alive by the will of another. He did not have to mind how he made other people feel.
But he thinks he's coming to understand a little better now what there is beyond that abstract hurt - the shades of concern, and their causes. The way people get frustrated with him drowning, or walking through Areas hurt. A concern he could not speak up for himself. Concern that he simply gave up. He doesn't mind those things; they don't hurt him. But they hurt other people, in a way different than those who pitied him, or felt uncomfortable, when he was in the hospital bed.
You can't hurt someone who doesn't mind being hurt. But hurting him hurts them, in turn. Is it because they care for him?
And is that why Barrett would have said yes? )
I can stop someone if I dislike something.
( Addressing that first, since Barrett's been so concerned about it. He can. That boundary is just really deep inland, and he needs to work out what he likes and dislikes to enforce it. But, he's capable. )
I wouldn't have disliked it, if you said yes. I can say that now, while sober.
But it's better that you didn't agree to anything you were unsure about.
You shouldn't indulge more than you want to, either.