@UTA

[tot]

@UTA

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@Winter

[userunfriendly]

[ By most standards, this would be extremely belated. But Winter does very few things in haste — and it probably takes him a long time to word even this simple message. ]

I listened to the songs you uploaded. I believe anyone who hears them can feel your love of music through them.

[tot]

[ even still! it's...flattering and nice. ]

Oh! Hello Winter!

...but did you? I'm so glad that it came off that way. Was there a particular song that spoke to you the most?

[userunfriendly]

Hello, Uta.

I might not be the best person to ask... But I suppose it was "Crime and Punishment".

[ assuming the songs from her TL are what she had uploaded anyway orz ]

[tot]

[ all of ado's songs are free real estate so c: ]

Nonsense! I always love to hear which songs that people like the most out of what I've sang. There's nothing that means more to me than hearing what people feel.

But I see. I sang that one pretty recently too.

[userunfriendly]

That's the part I find difficult. It's hard to say what about it exactly... it reminded me a little of a friend.

[ oh in THAT case ]

But "Where the Wind Blows" sounded like the one that suited you best.

[tot]

A friend? Hopefully it wasn't in a bad way, but is that what you think?

I'm quite fond of that song as well; it holds a lot of meaning to me. However! I have to know. Why do you think that?

[userunfriendly]

No, not in a bad way. I thought she would like it.

That's... hard to explain as well. It felt hopeful, but full of resolve. As if you wanted your feelings for the song to reach the person who heard it.

[tot]

I hope that you'll be able to share it with her one day then.

I think you've explained it good enough to me. You even sort of nailed down the feeling that I was going for! I wrote it thinking back about a story my parents told me when I was younger.

[userunfriendly]

I think she would be angry if I did.

[ Listen, it's hard to explain their relationship. More importantly: ]

Were you? What story?

[tot]

I see...

Yes, I was thinking about it from their perspective, but the story is that I used to cry all of the time when I was a baby. Nothing they did would get me to stop crying until they saw a mother nearby singing to her child and try that.

Obviously there's a bit more in my song than just that, but that memory inspired the song.

[userunfriendly]

Knowing that deepens the feeling of it. So that's why it's meaningful to you.

Are you close to your parents?

[tot]

[ i'm sorry for this yew ]

I am... I was.

The time that I had with my parents are memories that I hold most dear to my heart. They're what keeps my spirits high regardless of what is happening because as hard and difficult things can become, they left me with the life that I have now.

[userunfriendly]

[ :catgun: :catgun: :catgun: ]

I... would have said that the value of memories is that they're unchanging. You can hold fast to the shape of them long after their moment is gone.

[ But, you know. Things sure have been getting fun and hazy. ]

I hope the song becomes like a memory for you as well. And those feelings remain.

oh. i didn't hit enter....

[tot]

[ ]

I think that even if the mind forgets, there is a part of the body that will always remember. It might be a little different for me now, but nothing really is ever gone forever once it's been uploaded, right?

And I really hope that is the case as well.

[userunfriendly]

No, that isn't it.

A hard drive only lasts three, perhaps five years. It's so much more fragile than even a weak human. It's easy to envision the information online as permanent, but it's an illusion. All it does is make the data more dense. So much can vanish from a single server failure... and because we think something will always be there, it doesn't occur to us to preserve a piece of it for ourselves.

What lasts forever are the emotions of the person who experienced it.

[tot]

It's not the power to remember, but its very opposite, the power to forget, is a necessary condition for our existence. ...or so the quote goes.

But three to five years is more time than I thought I'd have had under more normal circumstances.

[userunfriendly]

I've never heard that. ...I can understand there being memories that make continuing to exist all but impossible.

[ But, even so... Still, that's one way to jar him out of that line of thought. ]

Were you ill?

/2

[tot]

My dad read a lot of weird books, but it's the same principle of how you could define someone's existence by how they are remembered. Once someone is gone and forgotten... Did they ever exist?

But no. I was perfectly healthy! Streaming takes a lot of you, you know!

[tot]

[ and after some time later after her other message (if he does not respond to her immediately): ]

I was being hunted.

I died because they found me.

[userunfriendly]

[ Yeah, he's digesting all of that for a while. Speedy replies aren't his forte even with lighter conversations. ]

They still existed. Existence doesn't require proof. But it is painful to be forgotten.

Hunted by who? And you ran your channel knowing that?

Weren't you afraid?

[tot]

I won't say who; there have been enough people who have gotten themselves involved.

I used my family's notoriety to my advantage and kept myself hidden as well as I could. The person running my channel—the person who is behind "Uta" was never linked to my family on paper.

[ and even though she's not answering michel's question of whether or not she was afraid, it should be pretty obvious what the answer is. ]

[userunfriendly]

"On paper."

[ There's plenty to infer there, about both. He's quiet for a while before finally: ]

Was it worth it to you anyway? To be able to share your songs and speak to others. To be seen by so many even while you were in hiding.

[tot]

Of course!

Every memory that I've made as "Uta" is special to me. It's one reason why I value every person who has told me that they loved or have been moved by any of my songs. I'm glad to have been able to share them with as many people as I did.

My only regret is that I couldn't do more.

[userunfriendly]

If we're able to repair the logout bug... there's no reason that you can't.

Even if your data only exists here, the two worlds aren't separated once those who can leave are able to. They could take your songs back with them. And new players could come here as well.

[tot]

I really hope that is what ends up being the case.

I'm nothing like Zelkova but I'll do my best to welcome any and all new players who come to enjoy the game. You know, once all of this gets figured out.